wake me up when this is all over: the wedding preps fighting sequel

Today, I did turn over everything to Meio. The church offerings, the wedding rings, the arrhae, the rsvp call-out list, the suppliers' receipts, the task list. EVERYTHING. He was so angry because he couldn't understand all the fuss. He went down the car. As soon as he stepped out, I wept my heart out. After a few minutes of blurred vision, he came back and went back inside. "Hindi naman kita kayang tiisin. Uuwi nga ako, mag-iisip naman ako. Mag-usap na tayo kung bakit ka nagagalit skin"
And so we talked, and talked, and talked. Amidst the rain, the honking and that froglet girl who I knew waited much longer than necessary just to uzi about our love quarrel. And we became okay.

Some of the things I'm about to share, I realized them a long time ago...Some, I needed a wake up call to realize. Either way, these are for future brides and/or grooms- whether you are in the process of planning your own or a marriage is still in your distant future.

1. Your husband-to-be doesn't come from a mass-produced tin can.
There were instances when I kept wishing that I could switch husbands with some girls that I know for the sake of getting the results that I was aiming for. But boys will be boys. My fiance's cousin was so hands-on with the preps, he knew the differences in floral quotations for a December wedding(much pricier). A college friend practiced answers with his wife before doing their canonical interview.my uncle smoked like hell minutes before his wedding. My father gave tons of money to my mother so she had liberty to buy what she wanted for the wedding.
Many times, I kept wishing he would be perfect, even just for that split second that I needed his cooperation. But my fiance, just like me, is an individual with strengths and weaknesses and it just so happened that in instances when I needed him most, his weaknesses prevailed.. Hence I had to try harder to remember #2

2. Work on his strengths
He may not be the best shopping buddy but he can sure as hell budget everything very well. He doesnt like coming to food tastings but he knows the nooks and crannies of the metro where you can find cheap stuff. Use this to your advantage and assign tasks that he can ace. I banked on this and we did get amazing results- our invites and save the dates got tons of compliments, he didnt mind going to the church and talking to the staff, he aced our canonical interview because of his respectful ways.There were some things that I knew I could never ask him to do, but there were things as well that I couldnt have done as well as he did.

3. Go back to basics.

Remember the reason why you are doing all these in the first place: You will be marrying the love of your life. Remember that you want to spend the rest of your life loving this person, thus you want to remember the day that binds you together. With this in mind, isn't it right that you will remember it for the right reasons? For the joy, the beauty and not for the stress that it caused you? Enjoy the preps, ease a little, forgive yourself for the mistakes, and if it's not too much to ask(or if it didnt cost that much), forgive others as well, like the suppliers or an antribida relative ^_^.

He gave my ring on April 9 2011 and in a few days, it'll be year. Ambilis! I am more excited than ever about the big day..

our picture hours before he gave the ring in Mt. Timbak, Benguet

see you soon!

wake me up when this is all over

I am sad and very upset that it has come to this. Tomorrow, I will turn over all wedding preparation details to my fiance.

For the past couple of months, I have been upset with him over wedding preps. There were some things that I told him to attend to much earlier but lo and behold, he simply ignored and did only when he felt like doing them. I know it is against the nature of men to plan, execute and scrutinize wedding details so I assigned tasks which I felt were in his alley. A few tasks that I cannot do, and yet, he would cram and do them at the last minute.

Yesterday, something to this effect happened again, and today, I snapped. Somehow, I cannot bear another crying session by myself. Another moment of getting really annoyed over something that should have been attended to, or done a few months ago at the very least.

Today will be our canonical interview. For information purposes, it's the interview you do with the priest before you get married. It is a must in all Catholic churches. In the church where we want to wed, they refuse to accept our reservation until we have passed (I repeat pass) the interview.

I snapped because I brought up the idea of practicing our answers, just to make sure that we are on the same page. That we are not caught off guard by questions that we did not prepare for. However, he asked me, in that same nonchalant tone that I have grown to resent " Na-aano kaba sa interview?" Simply put, he couldnt believe that I was worrying too much about it.

He texted me today and he explained his side. But it was just another of one too many incidents. Of nonchalant tones. Of things not attended. Of deadlines moved. Of things when my veins are throbbing and yet, the only answer I can get comes in a nonchalant tone.

Money does not grow on trees and I have long accepted that there are some things that we cant have on our wedding due to money constraints. Like preps in a five star hotel suite. a limo bridal car and so on. That's why I have worked very hard to make small details count. To make things as perfect as they can be despite our budget limitations.

But today, I've had enough. I did not listen to reason. I cannot accept excuses and explanations.

I will turn over almost all preparations to him. Tasks that need to be done. Payment schedules that need to be fulfilled. I might regret it in the end, but I am in a masochist mode and I am almost hoping for everything to fail so that finally, I can say, "I told you so.
"
sigh**

the wedding aftermath

It is approximately 2 months before our big day and more than ever, it is starting to get very real. For the past couple of weeks, I have been more intense about preparations and the next few weeks will get more intense so I want to take a mental break from the preps and think about the aftermath. The wedding is just a one day affair, and I am excited about what lies ahead. I dont want to feel apprehensive and overwhelmed when the time comes, so I am starting to think about the future that lies ahead and here are some questions that are brewing in my head

1.What will I do with this blog?
our title reads: we've known for years that we'll grow old together. It's time to let you know too. It's catchy for a wedding preps blog, but what happens when the preps are over? I decided that since hubby and I are mountaineers and we've been to a few tourist spots, I'll convert this into a travel blog. I'll blog about mountains and tourist spots we've visited, for information purposes.

2. How will I make room in MY ROOM for my husband?
After the wedding, hubby and I plan to live here in my parents' house, at least until the time that we are ready to move to a house that we plan to build.However, I probably have one of the most cluttered bedrooms on earth. I do tend to keep a lot of things and I've never denied the fact that I dislike cleaning and organizing things, hence I have a plethora of items that take up too much space. Therefore, I have started up cleaning or at the very least, I made feeble attempts, so that my room, which will be our haven in the next few months, can accommodate an extra person, an lcd tv(which we plan to buy soon), a sofa(so that we dont stay all day in bed) and hubby's other thingies.

3. How does mountaineering fit in in a newly wed pregnant woman's life?
I have thought about this a gazillion times and I dunno what will happen. So far, I know 2 women who are mountaineers and have had babies and truth be told, I'd love to have an opportunity to have a conversation with them, one at a time, talk show style, to ask questions on how they are able to climb mountains given the fact that they have babies. We lift it up to God as to when we will have our blessing, but the idea of not being able to climb mountains for about 11 months(9 mos pregnancy +recovery period) or maybe longer is making me sad VERY VERY VERY VERY SAD. Hence, I would like to work around this concern by:

suggesting more day hikes(or trips that would only take a day)
suggesting mountains where I can wait at a specific point while they hike(like Manalmon and Batulao)
suggesting mountains where I can stay at a tourist spot while they hike(like malasimbo, close to puerto galera and benguet mountains close to baguio)

4. And another looming follow up question: what if we cant get pregnant?

The writer of one of the sites I follow wrote(in essence) that she was ramping up herself to be a mother that she never thought of what she would do if there was no baby.. The reason being she lost her baby a few months ago. I'm not being nega and all..I definitely dont want to lose a baby and I definitely want to be a mother. I just want to be realistic and all..that it's possible that we might not have a baby immediately or for real..so I wanna be ready for that too..just in case. :)


Obviously, question number 3 bothers me the most so I should have put it first. Haha. Anyways, we'll find ways with God's grace.
tah-tuh!