Reese was sick for more than two weeks- from cough to GBS to physical therapy and without thinking twice, I would tell you that it has been the hardest since our parenting days began. Before I started this entry, I thought I had my thoughts collected but as I went along, I found myself lost for words.
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| Remembering how sick he was at this point breaks my heart </3 |
Because that's the thing with parenting. Some say and you tell yourself as well that it gets easier as they age but it doesnt. I remember my mom quoting an officemate, who complained that her son asked her mommy to buy milk for her apo. Mom's officemate complained that she thought her problems would end after her son got married but my mom just laughed and said "Buti kung hindi mo na anak yun kapag nagasawa na."- Short of saying that parenting concerns change as they age but it's parenting nonetheless.
When Reese was newborn, the hardest thing was waking up every two hours to feed him and I told myself that it'll be better when he gets older. When he got older, he liked playing at around 2 or 3 am and watch music videos so still, the sleep was elusive. When he turned 5 months, he slept soundly through the night but he would roll over a lot, so Arnold and I had to sleep in an L-formation so he wouldn't fall off the bed. When we moved to our new home, he quickly learned how to go down the bed by himself so we had to wake up when he did because he's walk towards plugs and appliances in a jiffy.
See, that's how crazy parenting is. It's a double bladed sword in the sense that it's the thing that brings me the most joy and yet it's the thing that can hurt the most. It's inevitable when you love something so purely, when you love somebody beyond the way you love yourself.
Somehow, most days, it's the hardest to find that sweet spot of loving your child just enough so that they know it without causing him or myself damage. Every morning, I struggle to leave because it's when we bond the most, but at the same time, I don't want be late for work. I have to manage our finances well but every car and musical toy and pajama set and comfy shirt seem for Reese seem to wink at me. These are everyday choices as parents and most days, I have to keep "personal score" to make sure that I'm not leaning too much towards one side.
So yes, I'm usually aligaga, still trying to figure out how to be a good parent and balancing it between cooking meals and being a wife and work and part time jobs and mountaineering and family stuff. I hope that you, my dear reader is doing just fine doing more or less the same thing. Until the next post!
When Reese was newborn, the hardest thing was waking up every two hours to feed him and I told myself that it'll be better when he gets older. When he got older, he liked playing at around 2 or 3 am and watch music videos so still, the sleep was elusive. When he turned 5 months, he slept soundly through the night but he would roll over a lot, so Arnold and I had to sleep in an L-formation so he wouldn't fall off the bed. When we moved to our new home, he quickly learned how to go down the bed by himself so we had to wake up when he did because he's walk towards plugs and appliances in a jiffy.
See, that's how crazy parenting is. It's a double bladed sword in the sense that it's the thing that brings me the most joy and yet it's the thing that can hurt the most. It's inevitable when you love something so purely, when you love somebody beyond the way you love yourself.
Somehow, most days, it's the hardest to find that sweet spot of loving your child just enough so that they know it without causing him or myself damage. Every morning, I struggle to leave because it's when we bond the most, but at the same time, I don't want be late for work. I have to manage our finances well but every car and musical toy and pajama set and comfy shirt seem for Reese seem to wink at me. These are everyday choices as parents and most days, I have to keep "personal score" to make sure that I'm not leaning too much towards one side.
So yes, I'm usually aligaga, still trying to figure out how to be a good parent and balancing it between cooking meals and being a wife and work and part time jobs and mountaineering and family stuff. I hope that you, my dear reader is doing just fine doing more or less the same thing. Until the next post!
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