We've Been Living our Happily Ever After for

Friday, July 26, 2013

My baby's first smile and a world of other parenting firsts

This morning is special not only because it marks the start of Reese's 11th week but also because he smiled at me for the first time. It wasn't the "fake" smile that we've captured so many times and uploaded on facebook- nope, this was a genuine smile, a social smile if you want to be technical, a reciprocation of the action after receiving one.

It was my first week back to work and so even though I was drowning from exhaustion, I savored every second when I woke up to change his diapers. I talked to him in my usual, typical, way-too-sweet-I-hope-I-dont-sound-like-this-when-I-talk-to-my-boss voice and smiled continuously and there it was, he smiled back at me. I couldn't stop myself and I cried. He looked at me in a puzzled sort of way, wondering if he was also supposed to copy the bizarre act of smiling and crying.
Back in the day when putting his bib wasnt much of a chore- kitang kita pa ung leeg nya ^_^

I am not even sure if this is really first social smile, but somehow I didnt care. His smile opened a whole of new emotions for me. I realized that for the next "firsts", it doesnt matter if it was the actual first, because what matters is that, it was the first time for the two of us. We would have a world of firsts, in the same way that I realized that Reese would have a world of firsts and not all of them would be with me. We would go to Jollibee and Mcdonalds for his first tastes of burger, fries and spaghetti(wow, talk about healthy food choices) in the same way that his father would teach him to ride a bike for the first time. I'd let him pick a toy for the first time, in the same way that he would run to his grandparents for the first time to look for allies because he didnt get his way with us. Hopefully, I'd be there on the first time that he crawls, stands up and walks, in the same way that other people in his life would be there for him on other instances. What matters is that I am there when he needs me, and that I'll be there to share that first moment that was meant to be for the two of us.
My darling on his first month :)

And yet somehow, it  made sense as well for me to miss some of these moments. For every school program that I miss, it means that he would get to share it with his father or grandparents who would take my place and spend it with him. For every toy that we, as parents refuse to buy, means that a loving lolo or lola would get to spoil their grandson. For every morning when I oversleep means that his titos and titas get to take care of him and spend time with him. For every afternoon nap that I fail to impose means that Reese would discover what really happens at two o'clock in the afternoon when he's asked to sleep inside.

That might have gotten you confused, but I guess parenting indeed, if not the most, is one of the most confusing things that ever occurred. It makes you work harder, only to spend a great deal of your income on a person other than yourself. It makes you wish that you can experience pain instead of the other, so as to spare your child from whatever is causing that pain. It makes you nurture your child with all that you can give, all that you have and all that you know, only to wish that later in life, that same person will be ready to live on his or her own.

quite happy after feeding...note however, that the neck is nowhere to be found at 7weeks :)
I'm not sure if I'd still feel the same tomorrow. How I feel now might change after a few hours of sleep or once little baby boy becomes cranky again. One thing's for sure though, this will only be one of many posts as I go through this exhilarating, exciting, fun, challenging and sometimes confusing thing called parenthood.

Sorry, crazy emotional mama hormones kicked in so I wasnt able to capture the infamous smile but I'll surely do and upload a pic in the weeks to come :D

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