Tired. Just tired.

For about the last six weeks or so, Reese has been waking up at about 4am, sometimes even earlier every morning without fail. He would be demanding in the sense that he doesnt want to play if Arnold and I are sleeping, and wants one of us to bring him downstairs to his crib and play with him. 

Boy Likot, Boy Kulit and Boy daldal who hardly likes to stay put

There were days when it was okay and I would manage after snoozing in the car for a few minutes. But of late, it has been starting to build up, and weeks and days of being sleep deprived are creeping up on me.

I convince myself that it would be better on weekends, but weekends are usually filled with "personal" duties and tasks- buying tv for my grandmother, visiting the in-laws, getting the sister ready for prom, 3 day sale and what have you. Dreams of spending the whole day in bed are elusive, non-existent and close to impossible that an imaginary bitch(or possibly existential) might be laughing her head off somewhere as she watches my misery.

Ze sister on her prom day :)

Most people say they can get by on 5-6 hours of sleep everyday but I can't. I don't want to. I yearn the days when sleep was a privilege and not a luxury, not a treasure that was out of bounds. It sounds coo-coo but I wish people would invent pills or energy drinks that make up for the lack of sleep, not by giving you energy but by multiplying the effects of the sleep a person's get- like telling my body that I actually had 8 hours of sleep instead of 4. or 5. 

Today, my boss in my part time job sent me a message that she is alarmed about me being unable to meet the daily deadline and it gives me the creeps to think that I might get fired. I have been doing this raket for four years and I have no plans of stopping anytime soon, as it provides an outlet to continue practicing my teaching profession in one way or another.

So please, dear God, help me find a way to have more sleep without sacrificing time with Reese. or work. or our finances. Otherwise, please send a magic lamp with a genie that would magically allow my body to accept that days of 8 or more hours of sleep are simply a thing of the past. Calling my fairy godmother, if you have been hiding somewhere and have been planning on revealing yourself, now would be the perfect time to do so.