An entry that is 373 days late

I gave birth to Reese on May 18, 2013 at 5:30 in the afternoon and yet I can remember most, if not all the details. This might be the longest kwento in my blog history ever, so brace yourself if you do decide to read it :)

I was at 38 weeks so I had weekly check ups, which was set on that day. It was Saturday and we arrived at the hospital past 10:00 am and we were wondering if the line in the outpatient clinic was long. We would go to Trinoma after, have lunch there, then sleep over at my in-laws, savoring our final weeks of "freedom" before Reese came. The week prior, my bp shot up to 140 from its usual 110 so I was excited to see if the meds worked.

11:30am

Lo and behold, when I stepped into Dr. Lim's clinic, it was still at 140. My doctor was concerned because the meds didn't work and asked me to buy a different one. Hubby said that when I was away, she expressed concern over my blood pressure, being that I'm already full term and could give birth every moment. I was feeling nervous myself and then she called a nurse and asked her to repeat taking my pressure just to be sure. Boom, it was 180/100.

12:30nn

The doctor said she couldn't let me go home with my bp so high. She said that if my bp goes down within the day, I can go home but if not, they would perform a c-section within the day. I was endorsed to the emergency room. In the ER, the nurse raised eyebrows at my very lavender nails(sorry, I was supposed to attend a wedding the week before if not for my bp!) and cleaned them. In a bit, they inserted a catheter which gave the weirdest feeling eveeeeer- it's like peeing non-stop  and you feel like it would fall off any moment, but not really. They also gave me a series of new meds, which were all supposed to lower my bp but to no avail. One was the weirdest of all as it made me feel as if my whole body was exposed to a gigantic hair blower, which lasted for about 15 minutes but even that didn't help. At about 1:00pm, an elderly guy walked in and was put in the bed next to mine and he kept breathing heavily. The nurses must have seen the horrified look on my face and pulled the curtains on my bed so I couldn't see the elderly man anymore.

Ang landi kasi ni buntis, ayan tuloi 

2:30pm

It has been more than 2 hours since I stepped in at the ER and believe it or not, it was only at this point that I gave up hopes of my KFC lunch in Trinoma. My BP would range between 150-170 so they decided to endorse me to the Labor Room. 

It was so weird going up the ramp- I felt like I would fall off any moment and I kept thinking on how embarrassing it would be to be probably the first person to fall off a hospital cot. (Pardon the mundane concerns I was thinking of, I have never been hospitalized in my life). I didn't fall off(thank goodness) and I passed by one other room where two women were in labor. I was brought to the second room and I was alone. I requested if I could talk to my husband but they said no, and it would have to wait. They continued what was being done downstairs- checking my bp, giving me meds, checking Reese's heart monitor. 

Since the heavily-breathing elder was gone and probably due to the cooler room temperature, my bp was between 140-160. I was elated but they didn't seem so. Reese's heart rate wasn't a concern, it was always between 130-145, which was really good and normal. In moments when the nurses went out, I would rub my belly and talk to him, but my little guy didn't seem to be in the mood for bonding.

The nurses acted as if I wasn't there and went about to talk about "stuff". There were two of them and one was named Jenny. She told the other that she has a salary dispute and went on to explain why and the other advised her on what to do. I was amused at how everything was so normal to them whereas I was undergoing one of the biggest moments of my life. I wasn't really angry, just amused at how nonchalant they were about the whole thing.

Another hospital staff came in and I wasn't sure if she was a doctor or a nurse. She gave me a piece of paper and asked me to write my baby's name on it. She came back in a bit and showed me two tags. One had my name and the other had Reese's. She went on to explain that I would wear my tag and if Reese would be born that day, he would wear the one with his.

After that, there were four people who were constantly checking on me- a very rude male doctor, a female staff and the two nurses. The female staff asked me to sign some forms and stuff. The rude male doctor injected magnesium on my butt cheeks, which he explained to me was supposed to prevent convulsions. He kept making jabs at my weight and bp, saying that I shouldn't eat too much chicharon the next time I get pregnant if I don't want him to inject that magnesium again in my butt. He's lucky that he was freaking ugly already, that mine and Reese's lives depended on his and that the magnesium hurt so bad. If not, I would have punched him right at his stupid unprofessional face till he looked like a goblin. He injected the magnesium one butt cheek at a time and it was the most painful thing ever out of this whole experience. I felt the magnesium seep through my body, passing through my veins and I stopped moaning after a while because it took away all the energy I had. I kept crying and all I wanted was for it to stop.

The rude doctor might have given a signal or something, or it was probably my ob, or Jenny the nurse might have settled her salary dispute but they did let me talk to Arnold after that. He was wearing a mask, lab gown and all, so that he'd be allowed to enter the labor room. He kept stroking my hair, as if I was a baby and he was much calmer than the Arnold who was with me in the ER. He told me not to be nervous, that my sister was waiting with him outside, that they'd be in the room once I got out. I just smiled and didn't let him know about the painful injection since it might cause him to panic again. We parted ways and he went outside again.

The female staff walked in and asked me if I was ready and said "Mommy, ready kana? wow! birthday na ni baby today". It sank in that yes, his birthday would be May 18, 2013. 5-18-13. I pondered if it would have been better if he was born on a different day and I realized that I didn't have a choice anyway, so whatevs. Dr. Lim walked in, all smiles and said that she'd do an IE. She said that my cervix was very much closed, that she talked to Arnold, and confirmed that we'd do the CS that afternoon. She said she doesn't want to take risks and when I nodded, she stepped out and a new set of staff assisted me to the delivery room.

4:45pm
They prepped me for surgery in the delivery room. I realized that there was nothing special about the room- it was like one big bathroom and it was actually the people and the equipment that made it remarkable. One of them was dismayed that my hooha wasn't shaved and said "Ay, hindi nga pala nagpapashave si Dra. Lim".  I wanted to answer back but the lady didn't talk to me at all so I thought, why bother? The anesthesiologist, Dr. Bernardino, did his first attempt to inject the anesthesia. It was easier said than done and before long, he asked the assistance of Jenny the nurse to help me bend so he can inject the meds. In a bit, he became successful and asked me a series of questions to check that the anesthesia was working. It was and though I could feel him poke my thighs, they were numb and he could've dropped a hammer and I wouldn't feel a thing. 

Doc Alice walked in and asked me, "April, ano na nga ulit baby mo?" Sabi ko " Boy po". Sabi nya, "start na tau". At this point, I couldn't see her anymore as the big cloth has been put to obscure my view. They started talking in technical terms as SOP that the operation has begun. Dr. Bernardino kept asking me to sleep but I didn't want to. I've never been hospitalized and damn it, I'd stay awake every freaking minute throughout this operation if I could. I did space out on certain times and when I asked if they've taken out Reese already, he replied, "ayun na sha o, yung umiiyak sa kabila". It was music to my ears. In next to no time, I knew that they were done and soon, one nurse was counting the instruments. Dr. Bernardino kept saying that he wanted Bulalo, and again, the normality was beyond me.

I couldnt believe that he was only 5.9 lbs, given how big my belly was

6:15PM

By this time I was mostly alone in the room except for a female nurse who I assume was designated to look after me. I told her it was hot, so she kindly turned on the air-conditioner back on and we didn't talk much. I asked her what time we would go up and she said at about 9pm. It was one of the longest waits of my life. I couldn't sleep and I kept looking at my belly and I thought that I should have taken a photo once I found out that this would be the last day of my pregnancy. 

9:00pm
The female nurse came back holding Reese and it was the most surreal moment of my life. I cant believe I was meeting the boy who was with me for nine months. I cant believe how small he was. I said "Anak, sinong kamukha mo?" and the nurse said "Baby sumagot ka nga." I guess it was hospital protocol and she showed me Reese's junk and his tag that was shown to me a while back.  It would have been the happiest moment of my life if not for the next thing that she said " Mommy, kakausapin ka po ni Doctora Roque, ung pedia".

Hindi ako sigurado kung sinong kamukha ni Reese- basta cgurado lang akong hindi ako

9:30pm
Dr. Roque talked to me in the alley and she then asked me the scariest questions you can ask a mom who just gave birth:

"Mommy, nagkasakit kaba nung buntis ka? Anong sakit mo? Uminom kaba ng gamot nung nagka-uti ka?"

"Regular kaba nagpapa-check up? Gaano kadalas? Kelan ka nagsimulang magpacheck-up"

"Mataas ang bacteria count ng baby mo, i-antibiotics natin sha. Ayoko mag take ng risk, huwag na natin hintaying maging malala si baby bago natin agapan kung kelan grabe na."

It broke my heart that Reese had to take meds being so young and that I would spend the night in the ob ward without him. I was poker-faced when I saw my hubby and my sister when I entered the room and I dunno how I survived until the next day- because I was delirious with hunger, thirst, the physical pain of the fading effects of anesthesia and the emotional pain of spending the night without my little boy.

Fast forward to today and Arnold and I are the parents to a boy who:

Loooooooooooooves going outside and swimming. 
Weighs about 12 kilograms, or more like a ton of limestone by the way it feels
Couldn't care less about what's on tv but likes dance music,especially mash ups
can say "tata" and "nana" to refer to Arnold and I, and "da-da" to things that he likes
I love more than anybody and anything in this world.

Happy 1st birthday and 8 days my dear. My blog post might be one year and 8 days late but worry not that my love is any less than the first day I met you <3

No matter how big you get, you will always be my baby boy :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

An expanded local destination travel wish list

Recently, it has been featured in the news that the Immigration will require more documents to be presented for travelling tourist Filipinos and the first and last thing that came to mind was that they are a bunch of douche bags. Yup, nothing more, nothing less. Anyway, with that in mind, I realized that it can actually be a good thing since people like me, who have considered going  to nearby countries for travel, will put those plans on hold at the moment and step up the urge to travel to local destinations.

I am lucky to have been able to visit a few of those destinations, thanks to promo fares and stuff. Nonetheless, I dont want to use the term "bucketlist" because I have accepted that our destinations would highly depend on the available promo fares and the date.  To cut the story short, here's a list that expands that list further, a list of places I wish to visit in the years to come:

1. Cagayan De Oro-Camiguin

CDO is such a bustling city and after our awesome trip to Davao last year, we are definitely excited to visit another city in Mindanao! Of course, I wouldn't say no to an opportunity to hit the beach, in this case, Camiguin. Based on initial google searches, Camiguin can actually be reached through a number of routes but CDO remains as one of the most used routes.

The famous sand bar in White Beach

2. Northern Cebu

I have been to Cebu twice- once in passing as we waited for our flight and the second one with hiking buddies and then bf(now hubby). However, we were only able to explore the southern part- Osmena Peak, Moalboal and Kawasan Falls, and this time, I hope we can visit either Malapascua or Bantayan. Lack of budget also stopped us from doing the edge coaster in Crown Regency but when we do it the third time around, I'm hoping we can do that ^^

BRING.ME.HERE.IMMEDIATELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY!

3. Carabao Island and Boracay

I have long wanted to go to Carabao Island but recently did I find out that it can actually be visited via Boracay. I have been to Boracay but it wouldn't hurt to revisit the place and Carabao Island as a bonus.

One of 'em cheesy photos before we got married ^^

4. Davao-Bukidnon

We had such a good time in Davao and given that it is such a big city(we were hardly able to explore it), I am definitely eager to go back. Our van driver also told us Bukidnon is not that far by land, so we are hoping to couple the two destinations. Travel buddies and I would probably do a "repeat" of things that we enjoyed in Davao plus some interesting destinations in Bukidnon- like the pitcher plant farm and pineapple plantations

ze giant pineapple in Camp Phillips

5. Dumaguete-Siquijor

There's not much to see in Dumaguete(or maybe I just havent googled properly) but it is the gateway to beautiful Apo Island and  Siquijor. Siquijor had a bad sound to it due to urban legends but a few google searches told me I had to visit this place. 

Salagdoong Beach, Siquijor

Other places in the country I would love to visit are Coron, Batanes and revisit Bohol and Puerto Princesa, but given that I promised hubby that we'd limit our out of town trips to one per year, still got a lot of time before I blog about those, don't I?

Lemme know whacha think and know about these spots.. Ciao!

Going gaga over house makeovers!

I posted a series of entries about Reese's safari birthday but with the not-so-recent turn of events regarding the house we're going to buy, we finalized that our little boy won't have a swimming party on his first birthday. In as much as the thought of a full blow safari themed party excites me, reality bites and we need as much cash as we can before we move in to the house by May. We'd still buy a cake and do the photoshoot (given how gwapo our baby boy is :P) but the house is our financial priority now and not a party.

Our little one is such a water baby. He enjoyed his first beach trip immensely!

With this mind, I had to divert my attention from jungle themed goodies to house makeovers! The house that we will buy was unoccupied for about two years so even though it was in top condition before the owner migrated to the US, it now needs a lot of work and TLC. Nonetheless I am hopeful that we can move in before May 18- Reese's exact birthday, since we also plan to do the housewarming on that day. Below are some pics of how I hope we can transform his house into our home :)

1. For the common areas such as the kitchen, dining room and bathroom, I wanted to stick to neutral colors and I wanted the colors to jive. I think the palette below would do well with our exisiting furniture- a black LCD tv and black and cream sofa ^^

For the kitchen, in as much as I hate cleaning, I think it should always look immaculate and so colors close to white should be our top picks

For the bedrooms, I wanted them to have more "character" so I looked for colors which were bolder and brighter. We'd probably use the brighter colors on one side and use lighter shades on two other sides

I'm really hoping that hubby would agree to the first one as our bedroom since I was thinking that the second color is more apt for Reese's room. See, I have trouble getting up in the morning as is and I imagine it'll be much harder if the color was calming like this:

Of course, I also looked for pegs for other parts of the house like the bathroom and the dining room though I wasnt able to take a shot of the two. 

Not really a fan of orange but somehow I think that this would work well...

I think black or any dark colored furniture looks really good and with that in mind, I picked this since the picture shows black dining set ^_^

Honestly, it feels like wedding preps all over again- it's so hard to fall asleep because I'll be thinking about how all these ideas would come together.. Giddy giddy up!

A mother's struggle: To spoil or not to spoil my child

Reese turned 10 months today and as crazy as it may sound, I(spare hubby since we havent really talked about it) am already having issues of having to spoil him- mostly in ways he does not even understand and cannot remember yet. 

Today I dropped by a bangketa to buy coin banks for myself and an officemate. Lo and behold I bought more than coin banks and found myself holding a toy car for Reese. The toy car was just 10 pesos so the question was not the price but this seemingly building habit of giving things he did not ask for and worse, he does not completely need- even taking out the "practicality" issue of toys because he already has a ton of toys at home.

I am worried that I will continue to be like this in the future, that I will keep buying things he does not need, I cannot afford, things that are less practical or things that should be earned but given to him the easy way. Let's not even get into things that he want because as early as now, he sometimes gets his way even if he isn't supposed to. Somehow, it is easier to let him eat that extra cracker even though he's full than to put up with his whining. 

I am deeply contemplating whether we should push through with his first birthday party. A few weeks ago, an opportunity to buy a house presented itself and everything was perfect except for the fact that we are highly relying on my parents to help us come up with the money initially and then to avail of a housing loan. The practical thing to do is to forego the party and just use our fund to help augment the amount but my stage mother genes are crying in protest. I cannot easily let go of the whole concept- the customized bubble bottle labels hubby and I printed and pasted, the Madagascar stickers I got and the jars I bought for the candy buffet. My head is still swirling with images of Reese wading in a swimming pool and children having a good time in his party. I wish there was an off button to it all, so that it won't have to pain me as much.

In as much as I want to pretend that I can stop it, I know for a fact that I would still have struggles like this in the future. As I have said time and again, parents can either love their children so much that they would give them the world or love them so little that they dont give a damn about their children. I love Reese with all of my heart and I just hope that somehow I would learn to be a responsible parent as well- a parent who disciplines her child the way my parents have done to me and one who knows boundaries and can say no. For the mean time, I would let the growling stage mother take the center spot and bask in the glory of bringing a 10-peso toy car to her 10th month old boy.

I should probably have another one in my work desk since it cheers me up knowing that
my darling boy is playing with this at home as well.

Forgive me for the cheesiness, he just turned 10th month today and coupled with PMS, they are the perfect recipe to a post like this.  :)

Tired. Just tired.

For about the last six weeks or so, Reese has been waking up at about 4am, sometimes even earlier every morning without fail. He would be demanding in the sense that he doesnt want to play if Arnold and I are sleeping, and wants one of us to bring him downstairs to his crib and play with him. 

Boy Likot, Boy Kulit and Boy daldal who hardly likes to stay put

There were days when it was okay and I would manage after snoozing in the car for a few minutes. But of late, it has been starting to build up, and weeks and days of being sleep deprived are creeping up on me.

I convince myself that it would be better on weekends, but weekends are usually filled with "personal" duties and tasks- buying tv for my grandmother, visiting the in-laws, getting the sister ready for prom, 3 day sale and what have you. Dreams of spending the whole day in bed are elusive, non-existent and close to impossible that an imaginary bitch(or possibly existential) might be laughing her head off somewhere as she watches my misery.

Ze sister on her prom day :)

Most people say they can get by on 5-6 hours of sleep everyday but I can't. I don't want to. I yearn the days when sleep was a privilege and not a luxury, not a treasure that was out of bounds. It sounds coo-coo but I wish people would invent pills or energy drinks that make up for the lack of sleep, not by giving you energy but by multiplying the effects of the sleep a person's get- like telling my body that I actually had 8 hours of sleep instead of 4. or 5. 

Today, my boss in my part time job sent me a message that she is alarmed about me being unable to meet the daily deadline and it gives me the creeps to think that I might get fired. I have been doing this raket for four years and I have no plans of stopping anytime soon, as it provides an outlet to continue practicing my teaching profession in one way or another.

So please, dear God, help me find a way to have more sleep without sacrificing time with Reese. or work. or our finances. Otherwise, please send a magic lamp with a genie that would magically allow my body to accept that days of 8 or more hours of sleep are simply a thing of the past. Calling my fairy godmother, if you have been hiding somewhere and have been planning on revealing yourself, now would be the perfect time to do so.

Mr. Donut's Do-ssant

Haven't been able to join the "cronut" craze for a number of reasons but when I passed by the Mr. Donut kiosk in Tektite this afternoon, couldnt resist any longer and had to get one for myself!

Mr Donut had four variants- Dark Chocolate, Glazed, Sugar Raised and Cinnamon. Naturally, I tried dark chocolate and here goes:

1. This baby reminded me a lot of Napoleones, that sweet sweet heaven in a square from Bacolod and other Panay provinces. It was probably because of the layers of pastry tucked with bavarian creme and glazed "thingy" I dunno what to call

those layers were quite heaven ^_^

2. It would be hard to eat this on a regular day when you just want a normal sized dessert. The dossant was about the size of an average cup saucer and after more than five mouthfuls, my stomach was close to bursting and the sweetness became a bit overpowering

I took it at this angle to emphasize the height..it was at least 2 inches

3. Because of that, it was very filling and quite worth the price, especially since they didnt use the standard milk chocolate for the coating.

Each do-ssant costs 65 pesos. I dunno how it would fare compared to the others but given its price, it was okay enough for me..4/5 taking everything into consideration..

Until the next chow session! 

DIY 1ST BIRTHDAY ENTERTAINMENT: BINGO CARDS

Many times, I am greatly deluded that my ideas are "extraordinary" and unique and become totally dismayed if I realized that somebody else has thought of it before me. The same goes for these birthday bingo cards- I thought I was the first to come up with it but when I googled, lo and behold, many others have come before me( sniff sniff). Nonetheless, I still thought it was a great idea so I pushed through with it!

We would use these as "fillers" in between segments of my son's party program and serve as something that both children and adults alike can do. Looking for the pictures was easy and I just googled images that I wanted to use.

Notice that I am very low tech so I just used excel in making the cards. So far, I have nine cards and I plan to make more combinations later...Also, instead of the standard 5x5 bingo card, I just made it 5x3 so as not to have a headache in making so many combinations. Because of this, there's no more "free" box in the middle.
 I also "created" five categories- 

B-ANIMALS

I-COLORED BALLOONS

N-NUMBERS

G-TOYS

O-DESSERTS

Add caption

After doing these in between payroll tasks, expenses, coe requests and what have you, I'm happy with the result and here they are in person..

Tadaaaaaaaaaaa! :)

Counting the days till our little boy turns one!